


Jäger Wisdom

by Para



Series: Jäger Hunt [3]
Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 11:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5926186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Para/pseuds/Para
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agatha has learned a lot about the sort of situations jagers get themselves into.  She still could not have predicted this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jäger Wisdom

**Author's Note:**

> The hilarity that is [Tahir](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4676600/chapters/11947034) belongs to [adiduck](http://archiveofourown.org/users/book_people/pseuds/adiduck), who is way more indulgent of my tendency to steal other peoples' jagers than anyone really has reason to be.
> 
> This fic is very short for me, which I apologize for, but... well, that's how it worked.

Agatha had learned, if not to anticipate most jägers’ antics, at least to develop enough of a sense of them that she wasn’t usually very surprised after the fact.

Usually.

She still wasn’t quite sure she believed this one. “So… how exactly did you become a village’s sage? I don’t mind, but it seems… odd.”

The jäger shifted awkwardly. It wouldn’t have been a very large gesture on most people, but this jäger was over two meters tall, and built solidly. Like the Baron, but even larger. And covered in a lot more spikes, and what looked like an underdeveloped set of additional limbs coming out of his back….

“Ah… vell,” the jäger said, “Hy em not ektually dot shure.”

Well, at least Agatha wasn’t the only one confused. The jäger (“Emil, brudder!” Gkika had called upon seeing him, followed by something in a language Agatha didn’t recognize) seemed just as bemused as she was. Although he might be the only other one confused. Gkika was smirking, Dimo’s face was unnaturally straight and he was staring determinedly at one of the large old trees surrounding Emil’s cabin, there was a lot of snickering going on among the cluster of jägers, and there were shrieks of laughter from at least two voices already. Three, if Agatha counted Tahir, who had been standing next to her and was now doubled over. She was beginning to feel a bit concerned. Could jägers laugh hard enough to break their own ribs? Probably not, but Tahir was definitely testing the possibility.

Emil shifted again, and shrugged. That, too, was a huge gesture on him. “Dis vos mine aunt’s home… five hunnert und feefty years ago, Hy tink? Und Hy thot, eef Hy em not goink ennyvere speeceefik, Hy vould see vot mine old village vos like. Und now eet iz mostly constructs, und mine aunt’s house vos empty, so Hy thot, vy dun Hy fix eet und schpend de vinter here.”

“That makes sense,” Agatha said. A few more people started laughing.

Emil ignored them. “Yaz, Hy thot so. Bot den, de pipple keep comink to me, vere ve find blue meent, vot ve do for de fever, vot ve do vit de new guy dot ve dun trust, Hy do not know vy, bot Hy know from mine aunt, so Hy tell dem, und den more pipple iz here de next day….”

A strangled noise escaped Dimo and he clapped a hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking.

“I see,” Agatha said, keeping her own face blank as well as she could. “And then when winter ended?”

He shifted from foot to foot again. “Hy… vos used to eet, Hy guess? Und Hy tink, Hy iz tokking to pipple, Hy vill hear vot heppens.” He frowned. “Bot apparently Hy deed _not_.”

“Eet hez been zum chaoteek years,” Gkika said. “Hyu iz not de only vun.”

“And it is a really isolated village,” Agatha said. It was almost all the way at the top of a mountain peak; they’d had to leave the wagons behind again. “They might not have known.”

“Mebbe—mebbe dey dun tink hyu iz jäger,” Alina gasped around laughter. “So dey dun tell hyu.”

“Bot Hy _haff_ mine hat,” Emil complained.

“Mebbe dey know hyu iz a jäger,” Maxim said, grinning, his voice also tightly controlled, “und dey dun tell hyu becawze dey dun vant hyu to leave becawze hyu iz—” His voice caught, and a giggle escaped before he was able to finish. “—hyu iz so _verra helpful_.”

“Right, well,” Agatha said, before she could lose any more of her army to hysterics, “do you, ah, want to go back to Mechanicsburg now? We can just call you an ambassador if you want to stay for a while, but—”

“No, Hy vant to go home,” Emil said. “Hy haff been teachink sum ov de keeds from de town ennyvay, Doina haz learned eet all Hy tink, dey dun need me ennymore.”

Tahir collapsed, and lay on the ground laughing.

“Right, well.” Agatha turned around to look at her jägers. Most were laughing, a few were struggling valiantly not to; a few others seemed to be having less difficulty. Gkika was grinning broadly. “I guess we can help you pack… some of us, anyway.”

“Emil,” Gkika said. “Iz dot a herb garden?”

Emil swiped at Gkika’s head, but she stepped back out of reach. “Hy know hyu ken recognize a herb garden! Iz vot de house iz for ennyvay.”

Gkika was still grinning. “Yah, hokay. Und de flower garden?”

“…Schot op, Gkika.”

Tahir gasped breathlessly, and clutched at his ribs. Agatha sighed.

It took them two days to leave again, between packing everything Emil had (not actually very much, but mixed in with a lot of things he didn’t want to take), Emil wanting to fetch a few of the kids (teens and young adults, really) from the town and make sure they really did know how to take care of the gardens and use everything in them, and then just deciding to spend another night and start down in the morning because it was already late. After that, it took them another three days to get back to the wagons.

By the time they reached the wagons, someone had filled Emil’s hat with herbs, attached lace to it, tied flowers to all of his weapons, and somehow managed to put an apron on him, all in his sleep. Tahir, it turned out, could run very fast even while laughing too hard to breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> Dimo, for anyone wondering, is thinking something along the lines of 'that sounds like how I became a general, I guess there was something worse I could have gotten myself into.'


End file.
